Communication is King: 8 signs of an Effective Communicator
How does your communication style measure up?
‘Excellent Communication Skills’ are usually the top of the ‘essential skills’ on any job description, but what does this really mean? Why is communication so important? And how do you know if you’re any good?
Communication builds connection and relationships, and this connection is a fundamental human need. Done well at work, it boosts office morale, improves collaboration, makes for better decision-making, and improves productivity.
“Ultimately, good communication in the workplace makes teams happier, more productive and more cost-effective.”
But some communication styles can have the opposite effect.
We all assume that everyone thinks like we do, but our opinions, values, decision-making filters and aspirations are hugely varied. If we don’t think alike, we will often inadvertently misfire in communicating our thoughts, often to our detriment.
why you may be costing yourself credibility
Why is it so hard, sometimes, to communicate with others? One reason is because we focus too much on being understood. We’re working so hard at trying to get our point across that we forget that one of the most important aspects of effective communication, is first seeking to understand.
When the focus is on ourselves, we can tend to create communication barriers. Here are some of the big ones:
Interrupting - we’ve all done it, when we’re in a hurry, or when we feel we can contribute to the conversation, we dive in and speak over people. Extraverts do it more regularly, in a desire to collaborate, but you can shut people down very quickly if it’s seen to be arrogance or ego-driven. Plus, it’s often just rude.
Listening to Respond - very akin to interrupting. when you listen to find points of the conversation that you can interact with, rather than listening to understand. If you are just waiting for your turn to speak, you’re not listening properly.
Being distracted or distracting - you may be multitasking, or have other things on your mind, but your body may be doing more talking than you are. Not engaging in eye contact, turning away from someone or looking at your phone or laptop whilst in conversation will make the other person feel like you don’t value their time or opinion.
Making assumptions - the old adage that they make an ‘ass’ out of you and me isn’t far from the truth, but so often a lack of clarity, failure to explain your expectations or thinking you know what someone is going to say will trip you up quickly. Clarify, clarify, clarify - better to ask the question now than half way through a project or even a relationship.
Not explaining - so many of my clients come to me with worries that their boss or business partner just doesn’t ‘get’ their ideas, or they don’t feel that they have their backing on a project. When we dig deeper, I can see that the client is excited about a future plan, but has never asked what information the recipient needs to hear or see to be able to see this vision for themselves. Building the bridge between the idea and the reality is so easy to overlook.
Feedback - giving good feedback, especially when it’s not completely positive, is one of the most difficult, and most important ways to communicate. Do you avoid the tricky conversations for fear of upsetting people? You are probably damaging your influence and leadership if it’s something you struggle with.
8 Signs That You Are A Good Communicator
Since so many of the barriers we create are inadvertent, or unintentional, how can you tell if you are doing it well?
1. You’re an active listener. You have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Effective communicators listen twice as much as they speak. If you talk with your team, not at them, and pay attention to what they are saying (and what they aren’t) you’ll be picking up on their expertise, but also allowing them to develop and grow in confidence. You’ll also be helping to develop psychological safety in the team.
2. You’re transparent. People know when you’re not telling the truth, or the whole truth. If you can be open and honest with others, they will do the same with you.
3. You are clear and concise. If you know what you need to say, you’ll be able to say what you mean in as few words as possible. This is not only more impactful, but also demonstrates competency, meaning people will want to listen to you. Waffling on or talking in circles can mean people switch off or even dismiss your ideas as ill-considered.
4. You ask questions. And, more importantly, you listen to the answer. Whether that’s asking for someone’s opinion in a meeting, understanding expectations or showing empathy, asking questions means you’ll have a clear understanding, and others know that you are engaged and able to support when needed.
5. You take criticism. Being able to receive feedback without getting emotional, or shirty is a great sign that you are open and able to adapt.
6. You’re empathetic and respectful. Empathy is one of the critical components of emotional intelligence, which in itself is a key workplace communication tool. You try to understand other’s challenges from the ground level, and are able to help resolve issues, or just be a listening ear
7. You are self aware and intentional - understanding what your natural tendencies are in communication, and being able to see what it’s like to be on the other side of you means that when you are communicating, you’re more able to put yourself to one side and be considered in your approach.
8. You’re observant and aware. You understand who needs to understand the bigger picture, and who needs the pragmatic, the practical and the important detail. You devote the time and effort necessary to observe your team’s performance and stay aware of both their challenges and successes.
If you would like to understand your communication style, how you come across to others, and improve your influence and impact in the workplace, please get in touch.